There and back again

Life is life we say, and yes it is. But how we see it is very different, how we react and make up our reality is our own unique experience. Growing up is living this experience and believing that this experience is the only experience, it’s the true experience and things we think and feel are facts. It turns out to be quite far from reality. We are very different and experience reality in different ways. Many people will go through their entire life believing this and be very happy with it. No need to rock the boat here, as they will have a fulfilling and happy life. If you think of a little boy that is colorblind, growing up. There is no way he would question what he sees at first. But later maybe he gets into a fight arguing over how something is the same or different. It is not before someone helps him understand that he sees things differently, and therefore will have a different understanding of this aspect of the world. He is not wrong, nor right. He just sees things differently....

As a devoted father with mental health struggles, my love and care for my children has never been questioned by people that are close to me and know me. And more importantly I don’t question it myself either. In my darkest moments I have lost clear sight and gone down paths that a human brain isn’t meant to take. To realise this in the moment when I am better, is hard and heart breaking. To realise the pain and suffering you unintentionally could have caused is devastating. Listening to my therapist telling me how many of her clients, sitting in the chair I am sitting in, are there because of a parent's life ending before its time, and then reflecting on my own beautiful children is intolerable for me. And this is the exact reason why I keep coming back to this chair, doing my best. I am a true believer in that this is what we always do, we do our best. The very important point here is that: Without the right tools and support, doing what is best isn’t always available to us. Paren...