The cost of willpower

We can define willpower in many ways, and would often be described as multiple traits.

  • The ability to delay gratification and resisting temptations to achieve goals in the future.

  • The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling or impulse.

  • A limited resource that can be worn out.

  • The ability to stay grounded in a difficult situation, and make cognitive sound decisions.


The idea of willpower being a limited resource makes sense to me, and also how the amount of willpower can vary. My anxiety, or alarm in my body as I like to think about it, is a drain on my willpower. Why, because I know drinking will relieve me from the alarm state, and it then takes willpower not to reach for the bottle. Staying calm with kids that don't do what they are told takes will power. To do what is needed to be done in a normal life takes willpower, especially if you struggle with depression. Getting out or staying out of  bed can then take a lot of will.


The required willpower for different things has changed in my life, and I will try to list some of them below.


  • Staying grounded in difficult situations, 10 points

  • Getting out of bed on a good day, 5 points

  • Make myself something to eat, 15 points

  • Not buying wine, 25 points

  • Making dinner for the family, 5 points

  • Not pouring wine while making dinner if I have wine, 75 points.

  • … and the list goes on


It is obviously not this simple, but the concept is still making sense to me. Some of the points have changed hugely over the last 10 years, and this are mostly unwanted changes for me. Imagen you have a total of 100 points in any given day, than it is easy to see that things can go wrong, quite easily.


What I can’t change is the number of points I have. But what I can change is the cost that is incurred on any scenario where willpower is required. We are all different and the list above will be very different to different people. A non drinker would obviously not require any willpower related to alcohol. But a drinker that has become dependent on alcohol has so ingrained neural pathways, that saying no to alcohol seems like a mammoth task.


So to change the cost associated with a decision, we have some tools.


…. To be continued when I have more willpower.


References:

 

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