Depression lies to you. Alcohol makes the lies believable.

Most people would have heard the saying, to drown your sorrows, and that means with alcohol. Depression and alcohol are in a dark relationship, and they both feed on their own tale. It is a cycle that needs self compassion to be broken. To give yourself self compassion you need to somehow give yourself freedom to do so, and this freedom can be hard to come by. You will often feel trapped by external forces in your life, like friends, family, neighbours or even the person behind the till. This force feels like lead, heavy weights, pulling you down ignited by their looks or words of disapproval. The words or looks of disapproval might be real or not, but if you are in the depths of your struggle, you will make them feel real either way.

I have lately found support and compassion through my partner and “This Naked Mind”, which has given me courage to question my beliefs, and managed to give myself compassion instead of punishment after drinking, or while drinking. These changes have to come from within yourself, and it is all up to you. 

This is a process that takes time. It is not done overnight, and I will have to accept lot’s of slip-ups, but that is OK, if I can manage to keep doing better.