Language Matters

I judge others on what they say and do. So language plays a big part of my life. Not just spoken but written and spoken internally in my mind. And in your mind language can merge with images and feelings. The feelings I have can be difficult to express with words, and I often fail doing so. The feelings often just stay, simmering in my gut.

Depression is the inability to imagine a positive future in your mind. And depression feeds on its own misery. My metaphor for this is when you are in a deep pit, and need to get out, you don’t, but instead you dig deeper. In the end you get confused and blinded.

I spent a lot of time predicting the future, and looking back at the past. Nobody can predict the future or change the past. I have been stuck in predicting negative futures for myself, and by predicting it, I somehow make it come true.

Today's gold nugget is this: When I can’t predict the future, and I am literally just making it up, why not tweak it a little bit, so it is a bit brighter. This is such a simple concept that I really want to master. If you believe you can do it, then you probably can!

I have 6 days of alcohol free now. I focus on this work, I really feel the support and embrace of “This naked mind”, community. I feel like I belong and I am working on predicting a brighter future.